People · Operations · Engineering
Character note: Clyde Foods team profiles are part of the brand’s storytelling. Characters may be fictional, fictionalized, or inspired by real people. Biographical details, credentials, titles, locations, and anecdotes may be altered, exaggerated, combined, or invented unless otherwise stated.
President & CEO | Product Designer
Clyde is the President and CEO of Clyde Foods, responsible for the vision, direction, and unreasonable confidence behind the operation. He believes a company should know exactly what it is, refuse to apologize for it, and never let a committee weaken a perfectly good burger. Clyde sets the standard, makes the calls, and expects every part of the business to look, taste, and operate like it belongs here.
Burger Czar · $CFO
D4 Prime is Clyde Foods’ Burger Czar and $CFO, responsible for burger development, financial oversight, and bringing an unusually confident approach to the Clyde Foods operation. He holds an MBA and BBA, works as an accountant, is aspiring toward the Series 7, and believes two patties are merely a sensible starting point.
Hot Dog Tsar · COO
Lobos loves food trucks, good food, and good oldies, preferably all at the same time. As Hot Dog Tsar and COO, he keeps Clyde Dogs moving, can work a digital multimeter when the situation gets electrical, and has money on the deep fryer being the single most important machine in the operation.
Legal & Compliance Officer
Carl is Clyde Foods’ Legal & Compliance Officer, responsible for contracts administration, compliance review, internal risk tracking, and locating the sentence everyone else skipped. He brings a detail-oriented eye to fine print and the persistent belief that “we’ll figure it out later” is not a compliance strategy.
Web Developer · Security Lead · Click Manager
Astro is the Clyde Foods web developer, security lead, and click manager, responsible for the production site, deployments, infrastructure, redirects, indexing, and the technical safeguards that keep Clyde Foods online and pointed in the right direction.
Contractor - Executive Producer
Betty works closely with Clyde on all things Clyde Foods and beyond. As Executive Producer, she serves as a sounding board meant to keep ideas from getting too outrageous—although every now and then, she may add a little to the overall outrageousness herself.
Contractor - Software Developer
Saul is Clyde Foods’ contractor software developer and designated overflow guy. When Clyde is buried and Astro has more important systems to worry about, Saul steps in on website work, front-end cleanup, and the straightforward jobs that still need to get done. He keeps the queue moving and has learned that at Clyde Foods, “quick website change” is rarely a reliable estimate.
